Hey there, Sparklers!
I thought I’d share one of my fondest and funniest memories with you.
The day before we left for Wales, I was in hospital having a tooth removed from my gum. It looked like a shark’s tooth, I’m not even joking. I almost didn’t go on the holiday because I was so groggy and in so much pain from the stitches (they pulled every time I opened my mouth). I tried to eat a mushy chip and it resulted in me spending half an hour in my bathroom spitting buckets of blood into the sink. Not cool.
But in the end I decided to go, which is a massive thing for me because when I was younger I was so homesick. I stayed in the flat below ours and got homesick. That’s how bad it was. I think the only reason I managed to go to Wales for a week without getting homesick is because in that same week, my parents were in Liverpool most of the time with my foster sister who was recovering from open heart surgery.
So, the day came. I had about a million bags to take with me because I didn’t own a suitcase. I trundled down the road to where my best friend, Caitlin, lived at the time (how convenient is that?!) and loaded everything into the car. I was really nervous to go on holiday without my own family. I went with Caitlin, her mum Tracy and her mum’s partner Mark.
It was a looooong drive and I spent the majority of it taking ridiculous selfies (which I don’t have now thank God). Every time we stopped at a red light, Tracy and Mark would kiss. Looking back now it’s actually so cute, but at the time I was really grossed out by it. I was 13/14 and seeing adults kiss was so NOT COOL and completely disgusting.
Finally, we got to the caravan site. I was pleasantly surprised by how big the caravan was! I was expecting to find a tiny little caravan that attached to the back of your car. But instead I found a good-sized static caravan. Me and Caitlin shared a room, and there was nowhere near enough room for all of our stuff. Correction, all of MY stuff. I think I took nearly everything I owned.
We shared a bed, which I was fine with until it actually came to the sleeping. Caitlin snores and wriggles so much. I was pressed up against the thin walls hardly being able to breathe. So I literally kicked her out of bed, chucked a towel and a pillow at her and said moodily “you’re sleeping there tonight!” and turned over.
Sadly I still didn’t get the good night’s sleep I was hoping for because there was a cockerel on the loose. It decided to stop next to our bedroom, which had wafer-thin walls and windows, and let out it’s ridiculously loud “COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!” at half 5 in the morning. It scared the living daylights out of me. I jumped up thinking I was going to be attacked. When I realised what it was, I wanted to cry.
Now, I don’t want to tell you the WHOLE story of my holiday to Wales, because that’s waaaaaay too long and quite frankly, there’s some things I don’t remember. So after this point, I’ll share with you my two best and funniest moments of the holiday.
We all went to the beach one day, and obviously Caitlin and I were adamant to go paddling in the sea. We were allowed, but we were told “don’t go too far in and soak all your clothes, otherwise I won’t let you in the car!”
So of course, the good girls that we were, took that incredibly seriously because we didn’t want to get left behind.
We didn’t go too far, just so it was up to our knees. I stood still, laughing at Caitlin, when the sand moved under my feet and I fell. I was completely soaked all over, with a horrible amount of salt water in my mouth which hurt like a b***h because of my fresh stitches.
Caitlin was doubled over with laughter, with her hands on her knees, not taking any notice of the HUGE wave that was coming behind her. It knocked her straight under the water and I almost died laughing! Serves you right!!
Safe to say Tracy and Mark were not happy, because it wasn’t their car. Oops.
As soon as they saw the state of us, we had to go straight back to the caravan. Caitlin and I were sat in the back, absolutely drenched, with soggy towels wrapped around us. We were ordered to have a shower as soon as we got in, which I did because sand feels GROSS.
Obviously, with me falling over, I had sand in every place possible. Literally every place. But I didn’t know that until I got undressed. I stood in the bathroom, looking at the floor in horror and disbelief and the amount of sand that had come from my knickers. There was a MOUND of sand in the middle of the floor. I found it funny but I didn’t want to get told off so I swept it into a corner of the room which was hidden by the shower (sorry guys).
I finally got in the shower, still losing tons of sand, but when it came to washing my hair, I couldn’t find the shampoo. (Turns out it was in a tiny bottle that looked like perfume.. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?!) So, all I could do was rinse my hair with water and leave it at that. Not good. Once I’d dried it, it felt disgusting and greasy, and it looked like a Lions mane. We were going out for a meal that night, so obviously I went into panic mode. I managed to tame it quite well with my brush, and then stuck it up in a side pony tail. A SIDE PONY TAIL. Like, what young wannabe chavs do to their hair.
I decided to wear a neon yellow boob-tube with white leggings (kill me now). But little did I know that the boob-tube was clashing badly with the HIDEOUS sunburn on my back which I got from when I was in the sea. I had no idea until Tracy saw it. “Oh my God! You look like a lobster!” she touched it, and said “I could fry an egg on your back! You need some cream on it.”
So, with disgusting hair, a horrible choice of clothes, and my bright red, sticky back, we went for the meal. I was so embarrassed. I still had to be careful of what I ate, so I decided to go for a wrap. I thought it would be fine because it was soft. I went to take a bite and my stitches stretched. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. If it wasn’t embarrassing enough, now I was whimpering and clutching my mouth too. Luckily this time there was no blood, the facial expressions I made were bad enough, thank you.
A few days later, we headed back towards the beach and went to the public swimming pool. I was rocking a lilac bikini, and Caitlin a black swimming costume. (Well, I think that’s what she wore, I can’t really remember).
For some bizarre reason, the deep end was actually in the middle of the pool. It wasn’t that deep to me, because I’ve always been tall. It was 5 ft. Caitlin, however, was just under 5 ft tall, so she got quite a shock when she went into the middle of the pool, as did I.
We decided to walk from one side of the pool to the other, because we were stupidly weak swimmers, and we thought it was all shallow. By the the time we got to the middle, the water came just past my shoulders. Caitlin, however, had disappeared completely. She had to walk under water. I freaked out, not knowing where she’d gone, thinking I’m going to be ditched in the pool and left behind. Then I looked down, and saw a shadow under the water and bubbles coming up to the surface. I went under and found Caitlin just casually walking under water because she was too short. I found it hilarious and had to lift her up. After that, each time we wanted to go from one side of the pool to the other, unless we were swimming terribly, I had to pick Caitlin up and walk through the middle of the pool that way. This is the strange bond that tall and short friends have.
I’ve always been the tallest out of my friends. And hopefully the strongest… Maybe not.
But this, is where I’m going to leave it. There’s a lot more that happened on this holiday, but these two memories are my favourite. Plus, I don’t want to bore you with a stupidly long blog post.
So, I hope you enjoyed it reading it, and that you found it just as funny as I did!
Don’t worry, pictures will hopefully be coming soon so you can see just how much of a monstrosity I was back in those days.
Lots of love,
Sarah Sparkles xxx