Hey there, Sparklers!


Sorry it’s been a couple of months since I last posted anything, I’ve just had so much going on! But, although I’m almost a week late, Happy New Year everyone!!!

What better way to start the new year than deciding to have a new, more positive outlook on life. I’m not using the “new year, new me” phrase, because that’s so overused and cliché. But I thought it would be a good idea to begin 2018 by casting out all negativity, only focusing on the positives as much as possible, and becoming comfortable and confident in my own skin. I’m not the type of person who’s easily motivated, and when I do get motivated, it doesn’t seem to last long. So I know this is going to be a lot of work for me personally, but I know it will be worth it in the end. Everyone deserves to be happy and to see the positive in things. I’m determined to be happy and comfortable with who I am. 🙂

So, that’s basically my New Year’s resolution. I wanted to make it something that could actually benefit me in the long run, rather than going on a temporary diet or giving my wardrobe a makeover. Not that those are silly things, but I wanted to change things up a bit this year.

Do you have any resolutions that you’re working on? If you do, I’d love to know!!

Lots of love,
SarahSparkles xxx



I Was So Scared I Almost Sh*t My Pants.

Hey there, Sparklers 🙂


So over the past few days some pretty scary stuff has happened to me. As I’m sure you guys are aware, I’ve had paranormal experiences on and off my whole life. Nothing had happened for a few months – up until two or three days ago. I was sitting on my bed doing my make up, and I had a mirror in front of me leaning against the headrest. I had taken it off the wall because if I stand up for too long, I pass out.

So I was sat with my back facing my bedroom door, looking in the mirror and getting ready for the day. As I looked in the mirror, I saw something over my shoulder. It was a human-like figure crawling onto the bottom of my bed. Naturally I thought it was my daughter, Alexa, so I turned around.. but there was nobody there. And then it hit me – whatever IT was had to have been transparent because it had crawled through the railings at the bottom of my bed. The gaps between them are so small I can only just fit my arm through. There is no way a person could have crawled through them, and as soon as I realised this I was terrified. What the hell had I just seen and why was it crawling towards me?!

Things seemed to settle down after that and I didn’t experience anything else until yesterday. But yesterday it just so happened to be Friday the 13th – which made the whole situation 10x creepier. Yesterday evening I was in the front room watching Alexa play with her kitchen set. She had a bowl in one hand and a spoon in the other, pretending to cook. She was talking to herself, but I didn’t think anything of it because that’s what kids do – they chatter away as they’re playing, even if there’s nobody there to talk to. I just thought it was really cute, I was smiling away to myself watching her. And then everything changed. A really uneasy feeling came over me, like we weren’t alone, and Alexa’s behaviour changed. She held the spoon out in front of her and started waving it about frantically whilst taking a few step backwards, and then she screamed, “NO, LEAVE MUMMY ALONE! YOU’RE NAUGHTY!”

… I was mortified. Whatever I had seen had obviously just made itself known to my daughter. My whole body shivered and all my hairs stood up on end. People do say that small children can sense spirits, but I’d never seen it happen in front of me until now. It absolutely terrified me and the fact it was Friday the 13th just made it worse. I don’t know what to think anymore, so I thought I’d blog about it instead whilst I try and get my head around the whole thing.

What do you guys think? If you have any suggestions or advice, let me know! Thanks for reading 🙂

Lots of love,


The Strangest Thing

Hey there, Sparklers 🙂


So something happened this morning which was both uplifting and weird. There’s one thing about spreading positivity, but this left me wondering if people knew something I didn’t. It was so strange.

My morning wasn’t going great at first, as I was running off 3 hours sleep and I just felt crap. I was tired and I looked like a zombie, but I had to go food shopping. So I just threw my clothes on and stumbled out the front door and walked to the car that was waiting for me. I have drivers because of my health problems, I’m not supposed to walk anywhere on my own in case I collapse and fall into the road. Anywho, I got into the car and was instantly greeted by a particularly happy driver. Which was great, we talked and laughed and I got out of the car with a smile on my face.

I walked into the first shop. Bare in mind that I live in a village and everybody knows each other, even if it’s just by face. So it’s not strange to me when people come up to me and know my name when I don’t know theirs, or can’t remember it. When I stepped through the automatic doors, I was instantly greeted by a shop full of people who knew me, and wanted to stop and have a conversation. It was nice, and I enjoyed speaking to everybody and making small talk. I didn’t really think anything of it, I just headed to the chippy with a huge smile on my face. (I’m British, so yes, fish & chips is a must have!) as I walked in, I was greeted by the guy at the back who’s fries the fish shouting “SARAH! IT’S SARAH!” and grinning away to himself. I still didn’t think anything of it, because Tommy is a joker and loves teasing people. I stayed there for a few minutes and spoke to the staff, and as usual, Tommy was in the back cracking sarcastic dad jokes. I love that guy. He’s the kind of person that if you don’t understand his humour well enough, it can come across as a little offensive sometimes, but he means well.

I left and headed into the last shop that I needed to go into. It basically sells pies, sandwiches and cakes. It’s quite a small shop so the queue was out the door, even though there was only 5-6 people waiting in line. I stood at the back of the queue, and the guy in front of me turned round, smiled a huge smile and said “after you”. I thought he was just being friendly and polite, which is always lovely. But then it started getting strange. The next person let me in front of them, and then the next. And eventually I was at the front of the queue being served first because the others had insisted I skip the queue. My first thought was, “Okay, what’s going on? Why is everyone being extra nice to me today?”

It’s not that I don’t appreciate generosity.. but it’s one thing to be polite and let somebody in front of you if you’re not sure what you want, but for the WHOLE QUEUE to insist that I go first? That was weird. I felt a little uncomfortable, but nonetheless I thanked them and left.

I was ready to head home so, instead of organising for a driver to pick me up, I just headed to a taxi office that was across the street. It saves time and at least I can sit down in a warm room if I have to wait for a while. So I go in to the office, and I see a couple of people sitting on the bench, obviously waiting for a taxi to their destination. I go up to the window and wait for somebody to look up, and then the guy at the desk says, “Oh hey, Sarah! Come on back!” They opened the door and let me into the room where only the taxi drivers and office workers are allowed to be. The people waiting for the taxi’s looked at me weirdly, and I just shrugged at them uncomfortably and walked in. There was about 5-6 taxi drivers sitting in a circle, on their lunch break. They all stood up at the same time and offered to take me. This was weird. Why did they all jump up like that? I laughed nervously and said that I was only going 5-10 minutes down the road, thinking that they was bothered about how much the journey would cost depending on how far I was going. So after finally knowing which guy was taking me home, I got into the car and we left. When we pulled up to where I live, I opened my purse to pay him and he said “don’t worry about it, you don’t need to pay.”

Wait.. What? Why in the world is everyone being like this? I love it when people are in a good mood and are spreading positivity, engaging in conversation etc but THIS? This was a little TOO weird for me. I walked to my door wondering what on earth was going on. Honestly I thought that they knew something that I didn’t, or that they’d heard some kind of rumour about me. I have absolutely no idea what the reason is, and I don’t know if I’ll ever find out. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. It made me smile and cheered me up quite a bit, but WHY would they be so nice to me? What’s going on? I don’t understand, and I’m honestly so confused right now. But anyway, I just thought I’d update you guys and share this weird little story. What do you think the reason for this was? If you have any ideas, let me know! Thanks for reading 🙂

Lots of love,
Sarah Sparkles xxx


Hey there, Sparklers 🙂


A lot of people have asked me what kind of music I listen to and/or what’s on my playlist. I have almost 300 songs on my playlist so I’m not going to list them all, but I’d thought I’d list the ones that I listen to quite often! All the songs are fun and upbeat, and they usually get me in the mood to go out or just dance around the house like an idiot 😛 (just warning, most of these songs aren’t “new”, but they’re still f*cking awesome!)

  • Kungs vs. Cookin’ On 3 Burners – This Girl
  • Sak Noel, Salvi, Sean Paul – Trumpets
  • Major Lazer, Nyla & Fuse ODG – Light It Up
  • Tinie Tempah ft. Zara Larsson – Girls Like
  • Bob Marley & The Wailers – Is This Love (Remix)
  • Steve Aoki ft. Walk Off the Earth – Home We’ll Go (Michael Brun Remix)
  • Snakehips, Tinashé, Chance The Rapper – All My Friends (99 Souls Remix)
  • White N3rd – Freaky With U
  • Diplo, Sleepy Tom – Be Right There
  • Kygo, Conrad Sewell – Firestone 
  • Major Lazer, MOTi, WizKid, Kranium, Ty Dollar $ign – Boom
  • Ren Phillips, Cameron Bloomfield – Comfort In Your Company (Jerome Price Remix)
  • Dark Nites – Chunky 
  • Digital Farm Animals, Youthonix, R. Kelly – Wanna Know 
  • Solo 45 – Feed Em To The Lions
  • Kyla La Grange – Cut Your Teeth (Kygo Remix)
  • Mike Perry, Casso – Inside The Lines
  • The Him, Son Mieux – Feels Like Home
  • Starley – Call On Me (Ryan Riback Remix)
  • G-Eazy, Marc E. Bassy – Some Kind of Drug
  • Martin Jensen – Solo Dance
  • Cashmere Cat, Tory Lanez, Selena Gomez  – Trust Nobody
  • Jonas Blue, RAYE – By Your Side
  • Bakermat, Goldfish, Marie Plassard – Games Continued
  • Hayden James – Something About You (ODESZA Remix)
  • Rebel, Allie Crystal – One Of Us
  • Kygo, Foxes – Oasis
  • Thomas Jack, Jasmine Thompson – Rise Up
  • Coldplay – Hymn For The Weekend (Seeb Remix)
  • James Hersey – Coming Over (filous Remix)
  • Mocki, Jai Wolf – The Weekend 
  • Stephen – Crossfire 
  • Slips & Slurs – Heartless
  • Blackbear – Girls Like You (Tarro Remix)
  • What So Not, GANZ, J.O.Y – Lone
  • JPB ft. Alexa – Come Back
  • Jai Wolf – Indian Summer
  • San Holo – Fly
  • Tep No – Liz Kellerman – It’s Alright (NGHTMARE Remix)
  • Richard Caddock, Hyper Potions – Distance 
  • Pham, Young Fusion – Movements
  • Black Bear – Dirty Laundry
  • Kyle ft. Buddy – Angel
  • K.Flay – Make Me Fade
  • Kyle – Raining Love
  • Njomza – Ridin Solo (Arvfz Remix)
  • Galantis – Runaway 
  • Billie Eilish – Ocean Eyes (Astronamyy Remix)
  • Kalin & Myles – Brokenhearted 
  • Hermitude, Mataya, Tapz – The Buzz
  • ZHU – Faded (Lido Remix)
  • Post Malone – White Iverson 
  • PnB Rock – Selfish
  • Kalin & Myles – Out My Mind
  • Wiz Khalifa – Ass Drop
  • Daddy Yankee, Lil Jon, Pitbull, Noriega – Gasolina (DJ Buddah Remix)
  • Tech N9ne – Caribou Lou 
  • Mac Miller – Donald Trump
  • Riff Raff – DOLCE & GABBANA
  • Post Malone – Go Flex
  • Kid Cudi – Enter Galactic 
  • Lil Wayne ft. Eminem – Drop The World
  • Tory Lanez ft. Nyce – Traphouse 
  • GOAT – Grenade
  • Chris Miles ft. Childish Major – Objects In The Mirror
  • Taylor Caniff ft. Chris Miles – No Life
  • Taylor Caniff, Chris Myles, Trey Schafer – On My Way
  • Kendrick Lamar – HUMBLE
  • Iggy Azalea – Mo Bounce
  • Post Malone, Quavo, Future – Congratulations (Remix)
  • Justin Bieber, BloodPop – Friends
  • CNCO ft. Little Mix – Reggaetón Lento (Remix)
  • DVBBS ft. Cisco Adler – Cozee
  • Charlie Sloth, Olamide, Lil Kesh, Not3s – Angelina
  • Yxng Bane – Rihanna
  • Belly Squad – Lifestyle
  • Sub Focus, Rudimental, Chronixx, Maverick Sabre – Trouble
  • Major Lazer, Travis Scott, Camila Cabello, Quavo – Know No Better
  • Frank Fields – Underdog
  • Joe Weller ft. Elliot Crawford – Queen & a Double 
  • Future – Wicked
  • Pink Slip ft. Rahn Harper – PCB
  • Crankdat, Havok Roth, TITUS – Stoopid Rich (Awoltalk Remix)
  • Afrojack ft. Ty Dolla $ign – Gone
  • Xuitcasecity, VMK, Crimastr – Somebody Say
  • Netsky, Macklemore, Digital Farm Animals – Rio (Remix)
  • SRNO ft. Zack B – Lost & Found
  • Nguvo – Trapicana 
  • SLOWOLF, Pell – The Ring 
  • Larry Ohh, Peter Piffen – Elevated
  • Yellow Claw – DJ Turn It Up
  • Lil Jamez – The Club
  • Lethal Bizzle – Wobble
  • Hoodie Alan, Blackbear – Surprise Party
  • Tyron Hapi ft. Sarah Bodie – Oceans
  • Marshmello – Alone
  • Dj Slim D – I Got Two Phones
  • Dua Lipa – New Rules
  • Pursuit of Happiness (Steve Aoki Remix)
  • Rihanna – Bitch Better Have My Money (Karetus Remix)

That’s pretty much it! I’ve ended up sharing more than I intended to, so sorry if it bores you 😛

Lots of love,
SarahSparkles xxx


What Am I Thankful For?

Hey there, Sparklers 🙂


Lately I’ve been thinking quite a lot about what’s happened in my life so far, and all of the things & people I’m thankful for. So I thought I’d make a list about it to look back on whenever I feel like I need to and to maybe encourage everybody here to also share what YOU’RE thankful for! 😀

I’m thankful for:

  • My parents, who have given me endless love and support throughout all of the bad times as well as the good

Photo 22-09-2017, 19 48 11

  • My beautiful, cheeky little girl who is the reason I smile everyday


  • My best friends, Nikki & Caitlin. Let’s just say I probably wouldn’t be anywhere near as happy as I am now if it weren’t for these idiots!! We’re called The Three Musketeers for a reason 😛 

Screen Shot 2017-09-22 at 20.00.05.png

  • Nicole, who I’ve known since I was a baby. We’ve been through a lot together, and I love her dearly. 


  • Danny & Mike, Eth & Gray, Joe & Caspar, and Mani, Richy, Sam & Leanne. They’ve all helped me cope through the bad times, whether it’s been making me laugh and crack a smile when I wanted to cry, or leaving me positive little messages saying that I’m strong enough to get through it. 


  • Sam & Colby. I would honestly be lost without these guys. They’re so special to me. The amount of times they’ve taken time out of their day to personally talk to me and reassure me, making me laugh and letting me know everything will be okay. They tell me they’re proud of me almost every day, and it honestly makes my heart burst with pride and happiness. 


  • And finally, you guys. My family. Knowing I have such a none-judgemental community is truly amazing. The support I receive is unreal, and I wouldn’t change this for the world. Thank you. 




It’s Okay To Have A Bad Day.

Hey there, Sparklers 🙂


I just wanted to have a little chat to you about how it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to have bad days. It’s okay to not want to get out of bed or to start crying for no reason. It’s okay.

As you all know, I suffer from anxiety and depression. So I’ll have a bad day quite often, but the most frustrating thing about it is that 90% of the time there’s no reason. Nothing that could “trigger” an episode. I spend the whole day thinking to myself “why do I feel like this? Nothing’s happened that could cause it” and then I end up feeling silly and pathetic. It’s hard to tell someone that you’re having a really bad day when there’s no reason for it. They don’t understand unless they’ve experienced it themselves. It’s frustrating, but it’s something I’ve had to become used to.

Everybody’s bad days are different. Some people just feel a little down in the dumps. Some are physically drained and can’t bring themselves to do anything that day. Some have a full blown meltdown. But whatever happens in your bad day, IT’S OKAY.

For me personally, when I have a bad day, it’s usually the complete meltdown type of bad day. I can’t sleep, I’m not hungry, I can’t bring myself to get out of bed and get dressed, all I want to do is sleep even though I can’t possibly doze off and EVERYTHING either gets me angry or makes me cry. I literally mean EVERYTHING. Sometimes this is just for a day, sometimes it goes on for a few days. It’s exhausting and upsetting, but the main thing you must remember is that it won’t last forever. Things will get back to normal. IT’S ONLY TEMPORARY.

The next day, the next week, the next month, whatever — you WILL be happy again. The way you felt during your bad day won’t matter anymore. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, and every single person is strong enough to make it through all the bad times in their life, as hard as they may be. With every bad thing, a good thing follows. I like to think of it like, “if I make it through the bad times and come out stronger, I’ll enjoy the good times that follow twice as much.” That’s what keeps me going.

Nobody is alone, and nobody should ever FEEL alone. There’s always somebody to talk to who understands what you’re going through. Whether it’s a friend, family member, coworker, counsellor, etc.

Find what makes you happy and concentrate on it. I know first hand that it’s easier said than done, but when you’re having a bad day, try and take your mind off things. Watch something that makes you laugh, read a book, hang out with friends. Anything that helps you personally.

Blogging makes me happy, which is why I do it. But when I’m having a bad day, blogging about it isn’t always the best option for me. Sometimes it makes me feel worse instead of better. So I tend to watch YouTube videos that make me laugh, or that draw me in so much I’m only thinking about what’s happening in the video. Reading a book also helps me, because I’m so busy focusing on the words and visualising what’s happening in my head, I almost forget that I’m sad.

But at the end of the day, I want you to know that you can always talk to me. You’re my family and I have a large amount of love for you all. You can talk to me about anything, and I’ll listen and try to help as best as I can. Don’t hesitate to drop me a message on Instagram or Twitter. I’ll leave my links below, just in case 🙂

Thanks for reading. And remember, stay positive. Things will get better.

Lots of love,
Sarah Sparkles xxx


IG: https://www.instagram.com/misssarahg_x

TWITTER: https://www.twitter.com/daringolzanski


My Childhood :)

Hey there, Sparklers 🙂


I’ve been thinking a lot about my childhood lately and how much fun I had. And considering I don’t really have anything else to blog about, I thought I’d tell you all about it!

Growing up I was a very shy, introverted kid. I never really played with anyone outside of school, I was quite happy playing on my own in my room. Plus, all the kids on my street that were my age were boys, and just like every other little girl, I didn’t like boys and thought they were yucky. 😛

Once I started to get older, around the age of 9 or 10, I grew out of my shyness ever so slightly. I would stop and chat to the kids playing on my street and eventually we became friends. I started hanging out with them every day, but because they were all boys, all we ever did was play football, rugby, bulldog, kerby or we’d wrestle each other. I was pretty much a tomboy, I never wore pretty clothes because I knew that if I did, they’d only get ruined. I was an ‘old jeans and tee’ kind of girl. Even though I joined in when everyone played football, it doesn’t mean I was good at it. In fact, I SUCKED. My way of “kicking” the ball was to drop kick it, even though I wasn’t supposed to, and even then I didn’t use any part of my foot to kick it. I used my shin. MY SHIN. No wonder the guys teased me about it.

The thing I loved the most about my group of friends was that, even though I was a girl, I wasn’t treated differently. They didn’t go easy on me, and they’d actually wrestle and play fight with me without making a fuss over “not wanting to hurt me.” They knew that if I didn’t want to get hurt, or I wanted to keep my clothes clean, I wouldn’t be joining in whatever they were doing. Getting hurt or getting dirty didn’t bother me in the slightest. As far as I was concerned, if didn’t go home with a couple of bruises or scratches and the odd mud or grass stain on my clothes AT LEAST, it was a boring day.

As I said earlier, I sucked at football. So after a while, whenever they had a game, I would just sit and watch and shout the occasional comment. Sometimes the ball would go over a 7ft wall that was near the place we hung out most of the time, and into an overgrown garden that was full of nettles and brambles. Before the boys would finish arguing over who should go in and get it, I’d climb over, carefully find my way through the thorns, get the ball and climb back over. I didn’t see what the big deal was. And on the street where we all lived, there was an old lady who hated us. She was called Muriel, but we always called her Mint Imperial (don’t ask). She hated us because we were always running around and shouting, and sometimes when we played football or rugby, the ball would end up in her garden. Everybody was scared of her, because if she saw the ball go into her garden, she’d come out with a knife and pop it in front of us and then threaten to ring the police on us. It scared us to death until one day we realised that when she was in the window “phoning the police”, she was using a shoe, not a phone. It was all for show to try and scare us away, so we weren’t scared of her anymore.

After a while I’d complain whenever they wanted to play football, because I was bored of just sitting and watching. So we’d wrestle and have different kinds of races instead. By races I don’t just mean who can run the fastest, but who could do certain things for longer, who was stronger etc. The first bad injury I got was from when we were seeing who was the strongest out of our group. There were three large solid slabs of concrete stood up on a patch of grass which the council had left behind, so we decided to try and pick one of them up and carry it. They were probably about 2 ft long and 10 inches thick. I somehow managed to pick one up about 2 inches off the floor. It was really heavy and there was no way I could have carried it anywhere. But before I could place it safely back on the grass, my grip loosened and I dropped it. Right on to my foot. I fell onto my back and screamed out in pain, unable to move my leg because of the weight that was crushing my foot against the floor. I knew I’d broken something. So my friends worked together to get it off my foot before they ran to my house and got help. I went straight to the hospital and I’d broke three of the bones on the top of my foot, just beneath my toes. I had to wear a plaster cast and an ugly blue shoe for 6 weeks. But that didn’t stop me from attempting to carry on wrestling. I’d lean my crutches against a wall and start hopping around after my friends, trying to catch them and put them in a headlock, and then before they could knock me over, I’d kick them in the back of the knee with my cast (not too hard, I didn’t want to really hurt them or myself) and then sit on them to stop them getting up. It was so much fun 😀

At this point we weren’t using anything but our bodies to wrestle each other, but after a while we got more confident and trusted each other enough for things to get a bit more “savage” 😛

We’d climb up onto things and jump on the other person whilst they lay either on their back or their stomach to make the impact bigger. We’d use a trampoline as a ring sometimes (not the best idea). This didn’t last long because most of the time we’d fly off it and hurt ourselves, or land on the metal parts of the trampoline which hurt like a BITCH. So we stuck to the grass, but started using anything we could find to get the other person with. Planks of wood, garden chairs and tables, old swings and slides that weren’t used anymore, the list goes on. Over the years, in total, I’ve broken around 22 bones, dislocated 3 bones, damaged the majority of the tendons and ligaments in my body and have gotten quite a lot of stitches. But I wouldn’t change it for anything. I love being so fearless and daring, I love the adrenaline rush that comes with taking risks, and even though there were plenty of times I felt guilty for causing injuries to my friends, it never affected our relationship in a bad way, it never caused any fallouts. We all loved it and we all trusted each other.

I haven’t done any of that stuff in years and it kind of makes me sad. After that group of friends moved on with their lives, whether it was moving to a different neighbourhood or going to college, I never found another group of friends who loved wrestling and stuff as much as I do. It sucks, and I really miss it at times, but I definitely feel like I had the best childhood in the world.

Sometimes when I get bored I’ll try and do stupid little stunts like jumping off the roof of my house or off abandoned bridges onto old train tracks, but it isn’t the same haha. So, if any of you reading this love this kind of thing as much as I do, lets be friends! 😛

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this little insight into my past.

Lots of love,
Sarah Sparkles xxx


116 Questions

Hey there, Sparklers 🙂

Today I thought I’d finally give answers to all of the questions I have been asked that I just kind of brushed off, or simply just forgot to answer them. There just so happens to be 116 of them! Let’s goooooo!! 😛

1. Are you hot?
Depends what you mean by “hot”. Hot as in hot and sweaty? Maybe a little. Hot as in good looking? Absolutely not.

2. Are you rich?
Nope. But I’m not struggling either.

3. Are you in love?
No not right now, I have feelings for someone but it takes a lot for me to properly fall in love.

4. Do you like coffee?
Y E S. I can’t live without coffee. 

5. Your dream vacation?
I have four. Lapland, Hawaii, Australia and LA. 

6. Who do you truly love?
As I said before, I’m not “in love” with anybody, but I truly love my family.

7. Last movie you watched?
The Tigger Movie. I just love it so much, I watch it whenever it comes on TV.

8. What sport do you play?
I don’t play any now, but I played rugby in school, football and tennis outside of school and if dancing is classed as a sport, I did that too. 

9. What are you eating right now?
Nothing. As lovely as it would be, I don’t have food in my mouth 24/7.

10. How is your best friend?
Aw, I like this question! She’s doing great, I’m so proud of her and I love her to pieces. 

11. What novels do you read?
Honestly, I’ll read any book that looks appealing to me. I don’t have a specific genre, if the cover and blurb catches my eye, I’ll read it.

12. What is your favourite pet?
Dogs! I’ve grown up around dogs, never been without one. They’re so loyal and playful. Every dog my family has owned has been like my child 🙂

13. Where is your best friend?
Blackpool, in her final year at university. Just one of the reasons why I’m so proud of her!!

14. What TV shows do you like?
Anything paranormal. I LOVE the shows like Ghost Adventures where they go and explore different “haunted” locations to see whether they can debunk it or get proof that it really is haunted. 

15. What are you watching now?
Nella the Princess Knight. *Sigh* Don’t you just love kids? 😛

16. What do you put on to bed?
Short shorts and a tank top. Unless it’s really hot.. then I just sleep in my underwear. 

17. What’s the name of your pet?
Myah. She’s a beautiful Old English Mastiff, a big fluffy baby. She’s one next month!

18. What is the size of your bed?
At the moment it’s just a single.

19. What are you listening to now?
Adverts. *Rolls eyes*

20. What is your favourite subject?

21. Worst injury you ever had?
Tearing the cartilage around my hip socket which loosened my pelvis and lower spine. They move around when I walk, and IT HURTS. 

22. What were you doing 3 hours ago?
Sleeping. I like naps. 

23. Are you wearing pants right now?
Um, yes?

24. What are your plans for tonight?
Relaxing, binge watching youtube videos and stuffing my face. 

25. When do you usually go to sleep?
Well, for the past two weeks my sleep schedule has been messed up, so I’ve only been going to sleep between 5 and 7am. It sucks. 

26. When did you last go on vacation?
Years ago. I was 14 and I didn’t even leave the UK, I just went to Wales. 

27. When did you last go for shopping?
Yesterday. I’m so good at adulting now!

28. Have you watched any movies this week?
The Tigger Movie and Mamma Mia. 

29. Do you miss anyone or anything right now?
I’ve been missing my other fluff baby Jade a lot this past week. She passed away in July. 

30. Who was the last person you chatted with on Facebook?
Nikki and Caitlin. We’re the terrible trio and everyone knows it haha!

31. Wet your bed?
When I was little yeah.

32. Beer or wine?
Ugh, I hate both. I’d probably have to go with white wine.

33. Are you drunk?
I wish!

34. Feeling sleepy?
I’m always feeling sleepy. A L W A Y S.

35. Are you a flirt?
I can be sometimes, but isn’t everyone?

36. Talk to animals?
I talk to Myah in a baby voice. Is that weird?

37. Are you hungry 24/7?

38. Do you cry in public?
It depends on the situation. Certain situations I can’t hold back my tears and just sob in front of everyone, but I tend to try and hide it as best as I can. 

39. Are you always happy?
No. Having anxiety and depression makes it extremely difficult to be happy all of the time, but I am happy 90% of the time 🙂

40. Do you have a stalker?
I hope not!!

41. Can you fart in public?
This is probably the most random question so far. No I refuse to fart in public, I just hold it in. 

42. Ever peed in the woods?
Of course! Who hasn’t?!

43. Are you always impatient?
I do tend to get impatient quite a bit, not not all the time. 

44. Do you cry at sad movies?
I cry at sad movies, happy movies, funny movies, scary movies, romantic movies, action movies… Yeah. I cry A LOT at movies. 

45. Would you marry a celebrity?
Celebrity or not, I’d only marry someone if we both loved each other. Not for any other reason.

46. Are you a drama queen?
I can be sometimes. 

47. Do you dance or sing in the car?
Duh! Going on a road trip and blasting music that you can sing/dance along to is the best thing ever.

48. Ever stolen a street sign?
I don’t think so. Not that I’m aware of anyway.

49. Do you sing or dance in the shower?
I don’t sing in the shower because it echoes and I don’t want to deafen everybody, but I always dance (and fall over) when I’m having a shower. 

50. Have you ever forgotten your birthday?
I’ve forgotten how old I was and if I’d had a birthday that year, if that’s what you mean?

51. Do you ask or answer stupid questions?
Well clearly I’m answering them right now, so yes. 

52. How long can you stay without bathing?
A day. 

53. Would you give all your money to charity?
Yes, if it was a charity I felt passionate about.

54. Do you enjoy watching cartoons or anime?
I’m not really into anime, but I like watching cartoons sometimes. 

55. Have you ever laughed at the wrong moment?
Yes. I always laugh in awkward situations or if I’ve been taken by surprise, whether it’s good or bad. 

56. All places you have piercings on your body?
Just my ears and my nose. Nothing exciting or unique here. 

57. Can you spend all your money on something stupid?
No. I’ve bought stupid and pointless things before, but I’d never blow all my money on something like that.

58. Would you drop your phone after you just bought it?
Yes. I think I’m cursed, because every time I get a new phone I drop it within the first day.

59. Do you always smile for the camera when taking pictures?
I don’t smile in selfies because I don’t like my smile, but if somebody else is taking the picture I’ll smile, unless it’s supposed to be goofy. 

60. What did you dress up for Halloween when you were a kid?
A witch. A cheap black dress that felt like a bin bag, a cheap orange or purple wig, and a rubbish broom. 

61. Are you lazy?
Definitely. My favourite hobby is laying down and taking a nap. I’d much rather have a sleep partner willing to spoon than a relationship. 

62. Favourite movie?
I have a feeling I’ve answered this before, but I can’t quite remember so I’ll answer it again. My favourite movie is The Princess Diaries. It’s one of the only movies that I can watch over and over again without getting sick of it. Probably because I relate to Mia so much.

63. Are you dating?
No, I haven’t dated anybody for a while. It’s getting to the point where I’m always being asked about it. Yesterday my driver asked me. “Where’s your other half? Is he working?” and after I said “I don’t have one” I spent the rest of the journey looking out the window like this:



64. Are you married?

65. Favourite scents?
The candles that smell like orange peel, or the ones that smell like Christmas. 

66. How old are you?
Again, I’ve probably answered this a few times but I have the memory of a goldfish. I’m 22. 

67. Are you in debt?
Nope 🙂

68. Do you have kids?
I think the majority of you know already that I have a daughter, but if I have new readers that don’t know; I have a 2yr old daughter, Alexa Brooke. She’ll be three in 13 days! 

69. Summer or winter?
Definitely winter. I love being cosy and warm, snuggling under blankets with hot chocolate. It’s just heaven!!

70. Do you use drugs?
No. Never have, never will.

71. Where were you born?
Wigan, England. 

72. Ever fallen in love?
Ok, now I’m starting to realise that I have actually answered some of these already, but I’m lazy and can’t be bothered making changes to the questions.

73. What’s your religion?
I was raised a Christian. 

74. Do you have siblings?
Not by blood, but I have a foster sister. We fostered her when I was 8. 

75. How much do you earn?
Dang, there’s no holding back with these! I honestly don’t know. 

76. When did you last cry?
Yesterday. I saw a video on Facebook and I blubbered like a baby.

77. What’s your eye colour?
Dark brown. I’ve been told by a few people that they’re a darker brown than most people’s, which I think is pretty cool.

78. What are your hobbies?
I’ve answered this before, but my hobbies change all the time. I soon get bored and move on to something else, so I’ll answer it again. Right now I don’t really have any hobbies aside from this blog. I’ve taken a bit of a break from my youtube channel, so really the only hobbies I have are this, eating and sleeping. Oh and making funny edits for other people. I’m so exciting, aren’t I?

79. Computer or television?
Definitely computer. There’s so much more to do other than watching movies or shows.

80. Do you like joking a lot?
Yes, I love cracking jokes and trying to make people laugh. Even though my sense of humour is crap and I just end up laughing at myself. 

81. Are you named after anyone?
My middle names are named after my mum and grandma, but my first name isn’t named after anything.

82. Do you want to get married?
Yeah, I’d love to get married sometime in the future. 

83. What do people like you for?
I’m always being complimented on how I’m a good listener and that I’m very sympathetic towards other situations. People tell me I’m funny too, but that’s just them trying to be nice haha. 

84. Do you have special talents?
Um.. I can sleep for days.. does that count?

85. What is your favourite cereal?
CocoPops. The chocolate milk is the BEST THING EVER. 

86. What are your plans for the future?
I’d love to explore every single part of Hawaii and Australia. They’re such beautiful places and I really want to cuddle a koala! 

87. How long can you stick in a relationship?
I’m the sort of person that always wants a committed relationship, I don’t like bouncing around to different guys, but the longest relationship I’ve been in is 2 years. Hopefully the next one will last much much longer!

88. What do you want to do when you grow up?
I’ve already grown up, and it sucks. Don’t grow up kids!

89. What is the first thing you instantly notice about people?
Their hair or their eyes. Whichever stands out the most. 

90. How many people have you slept with over the past month?
None. I told you, I’m single pringle and ready to flamingle. That was so lame, I’m sorry. 

91. Does love equal to sex?
No. You can have love without sex, but you can also have sex without love.

92. Do you think you are old fashioned?
Not in the slightest. 

93. Love with heartbreaks or no love at all?
Love with heartbreaks, definitely. I’m a very affectionate person and I hate the thought of never being in love again. 

94. Which one do you prefer? Trust or love?
This is a difficult one! I think I prefer trust. Trust is very important, and it’s extremely difficult to love someone if you can’t trust them. Having someone in your life that you can trust with everything is really special, and seems to be quite rare these days. 

95. Would you save the life of a homeless person? Why/why not?
I already have. I was on a night out last year, and after all the clubs closed I sat down on a step and a homeless man approached me. We started talking and laughing. He introduced himself as Chris, he was telling me about his family and how he served in the army, singing a song to me that he wrote by himself, and then he started to feel unwell. He was clutching his chest and couldn’t breathe, and he was shaking quite violently. I wasn’t sure if he was having some kind of seizure or having a heart attack, so I unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt, put him in the recovery position on the floor and shouted to a woman who was walking by to call an ambulance because my phone was dead. I put my jacket under his head and covered him up with his sleeping bag, and sat with him until the ambulance came. I held his hand and stroked his head, comforting him as best as I could. The police came too, and I had to explain everything to both them and the paramedics, also telling them what I did to try and help him and they thanked me and said I helped save his life. A homeless person is still a person, and if you ever walk past someone that you think may need help, help them. Ask them if they’re okay. Do SOMETHING. 

96. If you could wish anything or do anything, what would it be?
If I could make a wish that would be granted, I’d probably wish to be reunited with all my family members, friends and pets that have passed away. If I could do anything in the world, I’d travel to all my favourite places around the world and learn the cultures, as well as making friends in all the different countries. That would be pretty f*cking awesome!

97. Are you the type of friend you would like to have as a friend?
I’d like to think so. I try to be as understanding and sympathetic as possible, and I’ll always sit and listen to people whenever they need someone to talk to. 

98. Is money the real source of happiness? What makes you happy?
This is a great question. I don’t think money is the source of happiness at all. When I was growing up, we didn’t have a lot of money. We weren’t “poor”, but we couldn’t really afford any luxuries. But I was so happy as a child because I was surrounded with love and laughter. I always felt wanted and appreciated, and that was the best feeling in the world. Love and friendship is what makes me happy.

99. Are you always nice to people and do you expect something in return?
I always TRY and be nice to people. Sometimes I snap and can be a bit mean or sarcastic if they’ve done something to upset me, but more often than not I’m always friendly with people, even though I know they might not always be friendly back. 

100. Would you prefer to be hurt by someone you love most or by someone you trust most?
Ooh, this is hard. As I said earlier, trust is extremely important in my opinion, so I think it would be more hurtful for me personally if it was someone I trusted the most. 

101. What is probably the hardest thing to lose in your case? Why is it hard to give up?
The thing that would destroy me if I ever lost is my daughter. I can’t bare thinking about life without her. She’s my world, and I probably wouldn’t see the point in life any longer if I ever lost her. 

102. Remember the last time you were furious. What made you that angry?
Hmm. I think the last time I was furious was when somebody reported my dad to the council for being “a nuisance” and “throwing beer cans out of the window into their garden”. It made my blood boil because my dad is classed as disabled. He’s so poorly that he can’t do much by himself. He manages to get out of bed on his own, dress himself, have a shower by himself (with the door unlocked in case he falls or something). That’s it. So how in the hell would he be able to be such a nuisance to his neighbours?! The council actually came out to investigate and the neighbours got in trouble for making the whole thing up. I hate petty people. *Rolls eyes for the hundredth time*


103. Imagine you are alone at home, lonely and bored. Who would you like/wish to be together with?
Oh boy. This is juicy. I don’t really wanna say the name or whether they’re male or female because I don’t know if they’ll read this or not. So, I’ll just leave an initial. M 🙂

104. Apart from romantic love, when did you last tell someone that you loved them? What did they mean to you?
Yesterday. I told my parents that I loved them like I do every night, but I also told Sam, Richy, Mani, Danny, Mike and Leanne that I love them too. Because without even knowing it, they’ve helped me through some of the shittiest times of my life and I’m forever grateful for them. 

105. If there is one time or one moment in the last year or month, that you would change, what moment would it be? Why?
Honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and I wouldn’t be where I am today if I changed anything in the past. 

106. If you are to give your money to charity, who will you donate it to? Homeless people organisation or a children’s home?
I’d donate money to both. I’m passionate about helping homeless people AND helping children too. Both types of charities are important to me. 

107. You are to save your family member or your lover from drowning in an ocean. Who do you leave to drown and why?
Honestly, I could never choose. I mean I don’t have a lover at the moment *sob* but I could never leave anybody to drown without at least attempting to save them. I’d rather save them both and me be the one to drown instead. 

108. When did you last honestly reveal your feelings to someone else no matter how hard it was to tell them?
The last time I honestly revealed how I felt even though it was hard was a few months ago. I was going through a really bad patch with my depression but I didn’t want to admit it to anybody. I pretended I was fine for weeks, but one day it all got too much and everything just flooded out to my parents. It was hard because it upset them, it made my mum cry. She felt bad because she had no idea I felt like that, but it was because I did a pretty good job at hiding it. I felt so much better after letting everything out. Knowing I always have someone to talk to really helps. 

109. What is the hardest/most difficult thing you’ve revealed to someone you have been in love with? e.g. you love them, or you don’t love them as they do?
The most difficult thing I’ve ever had to say to someone I’ve loved is breaking the relationship off even though I hadn’t lost feelings for them. It just wasn’t a healthy relationship and I wasn’t happy, even though I still loved them. It was horrible, and I hope that never has to happen again.

110. What is harder for you, facing someone when telling him/her the way you feel, or facing someone when he/she is telling you the way they feel?
Personally, I find it harder when I’m facing someone when telling them how I feel. I worry a lot and always think the worst of the situation. It’s definitely easier for me when it’s the other person telling me their feelings, even if I don’t feel the same.

111. Your best friend just confessed to having feelings for you and wants to be more than usual friends. He/she loves you. What will you do or say?
Well, my best friend is a girl. And as much as I wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings, I’d be honest with her, but as gently as possible. 

112. Picture the last dead person you know. You have a chance to bring them back to life for an hour, but you lose 1 year of your life. Will you do it?
Of course!!! If I’d only lose a year of my life I’d bring back every single person I’ve lost for an hour. How long or short my life is doesn’t bother me in the slightest. 

113. You are in an emergency situation, for example, a burning building. You have a chance to make a single phone call. Who will you call? What will you tell them?
This is easy for me. I’d ring my parents’ land line. That way I can speak to both my parents in the same phone call and tell them that I love them. Alexa would either be with me or with them, so either way I’d be able to tell her also that I love her.

114. You receive news from your doctor that your condition is worsening and you only have one week to live. Will you reveal to anyone or everyone that you are about to die? What will you do in your last days? Will you be afraid?
Dang, this is a deep, slightly morbid question. I wouldn’t tell the world that I’m going to die, but I’d let the people closest to me know. I’d spend my last days with my closest family and friends, making new memories that will last forever, and also making it a vacation to Hawaii. But I do know that I wouldn’t be afraid. I’ve never been afraid of the thought of dying. 

115. When heading to work, you encounter a situation that you need to help out. For instance, a cat is stuck up a tree. Your boss has threatened to fire you if you get to work late again. Do you save the cat or save your job?
I’d 100% save the cat. I won’t leave any person or any animal if I know they need help, even if that means the risk of losing my job. I can always get another job!

116. Your boss wants to sack your coworker due to work shortage and he/she just got the job recently. You have been working there much longer. But with a large family to support, your coworker has no other source of income. Will you approach your boss and request to quit the job?
Ooo, this is an interesting one. Personally if I knew my coworker had a large family and would have no other source of income if they lost their job and I had another source of income or was in a stable position money-wise, I’d quit my job so that they could keep theirs and feed their family.  


Well, that’s all of them! I’m not going to lie, this took me FOREVER to do. But I’ll always answer questions, unless they’re wayyyy too personal. Some of these were random and a bit pointless, but some really made me pause and think about my answers. If anybody has any more questions, don’t hesitate to ask! 🙂


Lots of love,
SarahSparkles xxx



















What is NMRS?

Hey there, Sparklers 🙂


Lately a lot of people, both friends and followers, have been asking what NMRS is. Not a lot of people have heard of it and it’s pretty difficult for doctors to spot too. I suffer from NMRS, but there’s no short, easy way of explaining it to people so I decided to make this blog post so I can explain in depth.

First things first, let me explain about what was happening before I got my diagnosis. I believe I was around 15 years old when things began. I started having severe dizzy spells which would lead to me losing my balance and falling over. At this point I never lost consciousness, I would just struggle to keep my balance. Whenever I walked anywhere I couldn’t walk in a straight line. I would zig-zag all over the path as if I was drunk. I found it a little strange, but I wasn’t really worried about it at this point. Some people have better balance than others, so I thought that’s all it was.

About a year later, the dizzy spells became more severe. Whenever I would have one, I would end up vomiting and/or passing out. There would be times where I would pass out up to 12 times a day. I spent more time unconscious than I did awake at this point. I went to the doctors and they sent me for all kinds of different tests. I was in the hospital a lot, having blood tests, scans, and all sorts of other things. This took place over the course of two years.

Eventually I got referred to a cardiologist who told me I needed a tilt-table test. A tilt-table test is where you lay down on a hospital bed, with your legs and upper body strapped in, and they slowly tilt the bed until it’s in an upright position. You have to stay like that for quite a while so they can see what happens to your blood pressure and heart rate. Not much was happening for me, so after about 20 minutes they gave me a GTN spray under my tongue. GTN spray is given to people with angina and it relaxes and widens blood vessels in your heart and the rest of your body.

About 30 seconds after I was given this spray, I started to feel ill. I felt nauseous, I started shaking violently, I couldn’t hear or see anything, and then I completely blacked out. When I came round, the bed was flat and I was in recovery position with a sick bowl next to my head, just in case. This left me so weak that I couldn’t walk on my own, I had to be helped into a taxi.

About a week later my cardiologist rang me and asked me to go and see him. That’s when I was finally diagnosed with NMRS. NMRS, or Neurally Mediated Reflex Syncope, is a condition that affects your blood pressure and heart rate. When you’re standing upright, your blood pressure drops really low and the veins in your legs open up. The blood from your body starts to pool into your legs, leaving your upper body starved of oxygen and that causes you to faint. At first it was believed that I only had a mild version, so I was just told to drink plenty of water, add salt to my diet and avoid hot temperatures.

But no matter what I did, things only got worse. I kept going back to the doctors, and back to my cardiologist, but nobody was doing anything about it. By this point I was injuring myself almost daily, I kept collapsing out in public. I was covered in bruises and scrapes from falling on hard surfaces. I had an ambulance rang for me several times because people thought I was having an epileptic seizure, and this was when doctors and paramedics started accusing me of faking for attention. Obviously it wasn’t an epileptic seizure, because I’m not epileptic, but that doesn’t mean that I’m lying and faking it.

Finally, early last year, I was put on medication for the NMRS. I wasn’t having seizures, I was shaking violently because I would go into shock from being starved of oxygen. It was just my body’s way of reacting to the condition. Once I got put on the medication, things calmed down for a while. For a good 4-5 months, everything was fine. Then things started getting worse again, so I ended up on the highest possible dose of medication they could give me. But I was STILL blacking out and going into shock.

Things got so bad that I developed new symptoms, palpitations and chest pain. I thought they were symptoms of NMRS, but apparently they’re not. This time I was stubborn and I kept going to my cardiologist every time I had chest pain or palpitations. I had about 20 ECGs in the space of a year and a half, but nothing really showed up because whenever I had an ECG I had no symptoms. (Typical, right?)

I was having palpitations and chest pain all the time by this point. Sometimes my heart would stop and start by itself while I was sleeping. At last an ECG picked something up. I had an erratic heart beat, which was causing the chest pain because pressure was being put on my heart. My heart rate would drop below 40bpm and then spike up to almost 200bpm. So I was scheduled for an operation to have a loop recorder fitted near my heart. A loop recorder is a little metal machine that records your heart rate 24/7 and can alert the hospital if anything happens. They know if my heart rate goes too low, too high, or if it stops and starts in the middle of the night. This little device is pretty much life saving. I’m not sure how long it’ll be inside me for, but knowing that the hospital will be alerted if anything happens is really comforting.

And now, I’m still on the highest dose and I have to go to hospital a couple of times a week because something happens to my heart rate and I need to be checked over, but things are okay. I’m alive, and I’m thankful. I’m limited to what I can do, like I can’t go out anywhere on my own in case I collapse. I’ve been told to avoid walking near main roads and water. I can’t do anything that gets my adrenaline pumping like going on rollercoasters or jumping out of a plane (which SUCKS because I’m a massive adrenaline junkie) but things could be a lot worse.

Also, shout out to RackaRacka, Sebastian Olzanski, Nate Garner, and the Dolan’s for helping me through this exhausting process. I’ll leave their social media links below if you wanna check them out 🙂

Thanks for reading, and if any of you have this too, let me know! We can be twins! 😛

Lots of love,
SarahSparkles xxxx


YT – https://www.youtube.com/user/Therackaracka
Twitter – https://www.twitter.com/rackareal
IG – Danny: https://www.instagram.com/therackaracka Michael: https://www.instagram.com/racka_ashes
FB – https://www.facebook.com/Danny.Philippou.Racka.Racka/
Snapchat – rackareal

Sebastian Olzanski:
YT – https://www.youtube.com/user/ThatSpanishBoy
Twitter – https://www.twitter.com/sebtsb
IG – https://www.instagram.com/sebtsb
Website – https://www.sebastianolzanski.com
Snapchat – spaceshipseb

Nate Garner:
YT – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCICdq4578-n8XnH5Wg8ERbw and https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-ydS7NF7usEMMf46TYWASw
Twitter – https://www.twitter.com/natekgarner
IG – https://www.instagram.com/iamnategarner
Snapchat – imnategarner

Dolan Twins:
YT – https://www.youtube.com/user/TheDolanTwins
Twitter – Grayson: https://www.twitter.com/GraysonDolan Ethan: https://www.twitter.com/EthanDolan
IG – Grayson: https://www.instagram.com/graysondolan Ethan: https://www.instagram.com/ethandolan
Snapchat – Grayson: graysondolan Ethan: ethandolan

The real reason why I don’t dance anymore.

Hey there, Sparklers 🙂


Sorry it’s been so long since my last post, I’ve just been super busy and haven’t really had the time to update my blog. But today I’m going to explain to everyone why I don’t dance anymore and why it bothers me so much as a lot of people have questioned me about it lately.

So, I started dancing when I was little. I didn’t go to classes or anything, I’d just dance in my room for fun and then as I got older, I started learning how to pop & lock, and how to do all the freezes and tricks etc through YouTube tutorials. I wanted to go to actual dance classes, but I wasn’t confident enough. I was afraid of messing up and everyone laughing at me. I was being bullied at the time and I was scared it would happen in dance class too.

Eventually, when I was 14, I plucked up the courage to start going to street & hip hop dance classes. And it was honestly the best decision I’ve ever made. Nothing made me happier than dancing and being picked for competitions. I felt so proud of myself.

But, obviously, whilst learning to dance I would take a lot of hits to my knees, hips, pelvis and lower back. Sometimes I’d go home from classes black and blue, but it never phased me, I was determined to become the best dancer I could possibly be. I pushed myself too far, ignored the warning signs that my body was giving me and ended up seriously hurting myself.

During one street dance class, there was a part of the choreography where I had to sort of slide/dive onto the floor. I was determined to get it just right so I kept practising over and over, and by the time class finished I couldn’t walk. My knee had turned purple and had swollen to twice its normal size, so my friend had to help me hop to the bus station. I saw a row of metal chairs so I sat down and rested my leg on the other chairs. A security guy came out to tell me off for having my feet on the chairs, but as soon as he saw the state my knee was in he became worried and ran to get a wet, icy cold bandage to try and bring the swelling down. (Shout out to you, sir!)


I figured it was just bruised so I didn’t bother going to the hospital or anything, I just put on a brave face and carried on learning the choreography. I was still practicing the slide/dive thing (it’s hard to explain), but because my knee hurt so bad, I shifted most of my weight to my hip so my hip would take the majority of the beating when I hit the floor repeatedly.

Next thing I know I heard a crack and I’m screaming in agony, I can’t get up off the floor or move my leg because it literally felt like it was being ripped away from my hip. I went to the hospital thinking that I’d broke my hip, to find out it wasn’t my hip that cracked. It was my spine.

The doctor told me that I’d torn all of the tissue and tendons surrounding the hip socket which had loosened not only my hip joint but my whole pelvis, and that caused my pelvis to move around and put extra pressure on my lower spine and THAT’S where the cracking sound came from. I was on crutches for months and when I was told I can’t dance anymore it broke my heart.

I was obsessed with dancing, and I still am. To have your passion ripped away from you is really upsetting. What’s worse is that it’s nobody’s fault but my own. If I hadn’t carried on dancing whilst I had an injured knee, none of this would have happened. Years later I’m still in pain and I still have to use crutches sometimes. Not only has it stopped me from dancing again, it’s stopped me from doing other things as well.

The only form of dancing that I do now is tutting, simply because you mainly just use your arms and hands. I love dance so much that when I see other people dancing or watch dance films like Step Up, I start twitching because I want to dance with them but I know I can’t. This probably sounds so pathetic but, it’s who I am 😛

I guess I just wanted to explain properly for everyone who says, “if you miss dancing so much, why don’t you start doing it again?”

As much as I would love to, it’s just not possible without causing further damage. Which sucks, but it’s not the end of the world. My injuries could have been a lot worse, so I’m grateful that nothing worse happened.

Thanks for reading, and sorry for rambling a bit!

Lots of love,
SarahSparkles xxx